How I Decided to Leave Science Behind (For Now, At Least)
When my kindergarten teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said “a teacher who teaches dentistry.” Not the average response for a five-year-old, but hey, I knew what I wanted! My mom was an elementary school teacher and my dad was a dentist, so of course I had to make sure neither of them felt left out in my future occupation. I would sit on the floor of our house and make drawing after drawing of toothbrushes, toothpaste, and, when I got bored, anything else that was around the house.
As time went on and reality started to set in a little, I refined the lengthy job name and field and made it simple: I wanted to become an orthodontist. To get into orthodontics, you have to get a bachelor’s degree, complete dental school, and then go to an orthodontics program. Add all of that time together and you’re looking at 11 years of schooling after finishing high school. On top of the time commitment, getting into both dental school and an orthodontics program is a hard feat. The average acceptance rate into dental school for 2020 in the US was 7.3%(1) and 6% for orthodontics residencies(2). Needless to say, I was constantly stressed out and trying to achieve the highest grades I could all while working on my extracurriculars 24/7 starting in middle school.
In college, I put school first. Nothing came before homework or studying for exams, and of the list of things that I focused on once a midterm was over, self care was the last on the list. My health started seriously declining in my sophomore year of college. But, being a Biology major and feeling constantly berated by exam after exam, I felt like I had no extra time. Three years of this struggle landed me in a really odd place during my senior year.
I started questioning why I chose the path I did. I was always so fascinated by biology, especially being someone who had many health issues growing up. But why did I choose dentistry? I thought back to my answer as a kindergartener about what job I wanted to have and asked myself, “Am I following this career path for me, or for someone else?” I paused. It took a lot out of me and it wasn’t an easy decision, but after my first semester of senior year I finally decided I wanted to look for something new. Of course, loving science, I thought I’d try to go into bioengineering. I added some relevant classes to my course schedule and loved them, but noticed my unhealthy habits with school were still not letting up.
Graduation came and I finally had the time to see all the doctors I’d neglected. Months passed and I found out I had been suffering from multiple serious chronic illnesses. I took a deep look inward and realized that, at least for now, school is not the place for me. In order to protect my wellbeing and long term health, I had to completely change my life. I remembered that five-year-old self and thought, “Well, I’ve always loved art!” I set my sights on that and two years out of college I’m now in the midst of starting my own art business!
There are two critical lessons I learned from these past six years, however one is a bit more important than the other. First, nothing should ever come before your own wellbeing. If you are mentally or physically sick, it is so incredibly important that you put yourself first and address those issues. School can be an extremely stressful environment, especially in science. Believe me, I completely understand how overwhelming it is. Professors may not understand (in which case I highly recommend reaching out to your school’s Student Ombudsman!). But at the end of the day, you will be at your happiest when you put yourself first. And, with that sentiment, it may bring you to my second biggest lesson: make sure that you are following your own path. Critically think about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Is this the life you want, or is it someone else’s dream? It’s important that you ask yourself this question constantly. It is so easy to get wrapped up in next thing after next thing that before you know it years have gone by. Stay in tune with yourself as best as you can and that is easiest to do when you are practicing self-care!
And if you’re ever looking to check out some cool art, check out my Instagram @kaelileoni.art for my Etsy shop, website, and more!
References:
Master Student. “Dental School Acceptance Rates in the USA.” Master Student, 6 Dec. 2021, https://masterstudent.ca/dental-school-acceptance-rates-in-the-usa/.
Orthodontic Associates. “Becoming an Orthodontist.” Orthodontic Associates, 9 Mar. 2020, https://orthodonticassoc.com/about-orthodontics/becoming-an-orthodontist/#:~:text=Acceptance%20into%20an%20orthodontic%20residency,spot%20per%20every%2015%20applicants.
